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Dear Dictionary, We've Got a Word for You

Michelle Ross

The Oxford English Dictionary is the queen bee of dictionaries, the A-list gatekeeper who decides which words make it and which words bury and die under incoming novelty. So dear Oxford, we’d like to throw our hat into the ring for the Oxford’s New Words List 2020 with the word “RIIA.” Cheers.

Real-Time Integrated Information Access (RIIA) is an operation methodology that empowers the workforce with knowledge at their fingertips. RIIA means the right instruction and data available instantaneously when and where an individual needs it most while operating in a digitally connected workforce.

Real-Time: Happening in the Now.

Integrated: Unifying separate entities to function together in harmony.

Information: Details in the form of instruction (communication, skill sharing, education) and data (research, reports, feedback, figures).

Access: Limitless knowledge readily available via an approachable technique.

Field service technician documenting equipment status.

Yes, our submission is in jest. And yes, it’s an acronym, but so is the Oxford approved EGOT (n. an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony winner) which is seriously a blunt, clumsy sounding word we tack onto the iconic names of Barbara Striesand and John Legend. RIIA pronounced “ree-ah” slips right off the lips, and the sound is already hidden in stimulating words like reimagine, realize, reassure, and reappear. 

Lobbying for official word creation is a bit tongue-and-cheek, you might say? Well, we think that if Oxford, “the definitive record of the english language,” awarded “chillax” with dictionary square footage in 2019, then certainly it can make room for RIIA. For a brief pause in our campaign efforts, let’s take a comedic break and review some new words Oxford knighted at the end of 2019. (Source here for below.)

  • sumptin, n. and adv.: = Something n. (in various senses).
  • fakie, n., adj., and adv.: colloquial. An artificial substitute for something; a fake or false breast, fingernail, eyelash, etc. Cf. falsies n.
  • nomophobia, n.2: Anxiety about not having access to a mobile phone or mobile phone services.
  • promposal, n.: An invitation to be someone’s date to a school prom; esp. one which is elaborately staged, filmed, and made available on social media for others to…
  • whatevs, int. and pron.: Used (typically in response to a question or statement) to indicate that the speaker is disinclined to engage with, or is indifferent to, the matter.

Compared to “sumptin,” RIIA is like an overqualified, braceface overachiever who did homework on weekends and cried when they got their first B in college. Voting for RIIA is a no-brainer.

Service technician using Real-Time Integrated Information Access (RIIA) to perform system maintenance.

RIIA is not a buzzword. It’s not a trend. It’s not a sales tactic. It’s a solution for a critical problem that has erupted in the modern workforce due to the widening skills gap and labor shortage. The RIIA method breaks the inefficiency cycle many enterprises face in the field of operations by eliminating extra, repetitive, or erroneous work concerning equipment by providing contextually relevant information and solutions accessible in real-time through spatial documentation. 

And this is when we say, “Whatevs, RIIA is sumptin special, and words like promposal are fakies.”

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